Resources

Top Recommended

TOOLS YOU NEED TO SUCCEED THROUGHOUT YOUR JOURNEY

Welcome to the Codependency No More Resources section, a curated list of the resources I strongly recommend for overcoming codependency and relationship woes. I have used or reviewed every recommendation on this page.

Before digging into the awesome resources I know and trust, an important disclosure:

Some links below are affiliate links, meaning that if you choose to purchase, I may earn a commission which comes at no additional cost to you. Please understand that I have experience with all of these resources, and I recommend them because they are helpful and useful, not because of the small commissions I make if you decide to buy something. Please do not spend money on these products unless you feel you need them or that they will help you achieve your goals.

Free Codependency Resources

CONQUERING CODEPENDENCY MINI-COURSE

This 30-minute video course consists of 8 short lessons.

The lessons discuss the concept of codependency and it’s causes, and progressively lead you through the basics of recovery.

Each lesson contains 1 or more additional resources to help along the journey.

SHARE TO REPAIR PROGRAM

We started this story-sharing program so you could feel understood.

An ever-growing collection of real life stories, this series of interviews and blog posts details the experiences of our readers and listeners as they heal from codependency.

Our hope is that these stories inspire you to continue pressing forward when times are tough.

CODEPENDENCY NO MORE PODCAST

Our most popular resource!

Co-Founder Brian Pisor personally interviews authors, experts, and recovering codependents about a multitude of aspects of codependency.

Hours and hours of content – Subscribe and listen on the go wherever you get your podcasts.

CODEPENDENCY QUIZ

This is a quiz we developed to help you discover where you fall on the spectrum.

First, you’ll answer a question about what type of relationship you believe you’re struggling with, and then we ask a series of questions about that relationship.

You get your results right away!

Great Books

CODEPENDENT NO MORE by Melody Beattie

This is the book that brought codependency awareness mainstream.

Melody Beattie is a household name in addiction and codependency circles. Codependent No More catapulted her into the spotlight shortly after this book was released in the 1980’s.

It remains a staple today, a foundational reading for anyone looking to understand the addiction of codependency.

BOUNDARIES: WHEN TO SAY YES, HOW TO SAY NO TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend

With 4,000 Amazon reviews (averaging 4.5 stars) and a New York Times Bestseller, this book is the authority on boundaries, and a must-read for anyone learning to set new ones.

Drs. Cloud and Townsend explain how boundaries are the personal property lines that define who you are and who you are not, in all areas of your life.

I highly recommend this book if you want a crash course on personal boundaries.

CONQUERING SHAME AND CODEPENDENCY by Darlene Lancer, MFT

Well researched and logically broken down, this book explains the concept of toxic shame and why it’s often the root cause of codependency.

Darlene Lancer is a practicing therapist, speaker and author of other popular books such as Codependency for Dummies.

This is highly recommended if you want a solid grasp on what causes codependency.

THE ACOA TRAUMA SYNDROME by Dr. Tian Dayton, PhD

This book explains the concept of Adult Children of Alcoholics, and how childhood trauma often leads to painful adult relationships.

Author, speaker and psychodrama consultant, Dr. Tian Dayton does an excellent job discussing what happens in the nervous system as a result of trauma, how we use process addictions to cope, and ways to heal from trauma.

You’ll have “light bulb” all throughout the book, and can use this book to make better sense of your life if you experienced childhood trauma, whether pronounced or subtle.

DON’T FEED THE DUCKS: OVERCOMING UNHEALTHY HELPING IN YOUR LIFE & RELATIONSHIPS by John Raven

This book is perfect for those who are at the beginning stages of accepting that they may in fact be codependent. It uses creative illustrations and metaphors to move the frame of mind from “How can I fix this person?” to “Is my heart in the right place to begin with?”

It moves through a lot of the initial common questions many codependents have, explaining things such as why negative reward systems and feedback loops keep us stuck in unhealthy patterns even though we want to get better.

John Raven is a practicing professional counselor, drawing from personal experience to craft this quick, easy and insightful read.

HOW TO DO NO CONTACT LIKE A BOSS by Kim Saeed

This book is geared toward women (or men) who are in an abusive relationship and looking to get out.

It sticks to the facts, without much fluff, to provide the down and dirty of how to get out, and what to expect once you leave.

This book should be a prerequisite to leaving a bad relationship. It will open your eyes to the reality of what you’re getting into.

THE FOUR AGREEMENTS: A PRACTICAL GUIDE TO PERSONAL FREEDOM (A TOLTEC WISDOM BOOK) by Don Miguel Ruiz

This book is perfect for those who are at the beginning stages of accepting that they may in fact be codependent. It uses creative illustrations and metaphors to move the frame of mind from “How can I fix this person?” to “Is my heart in the right place to begin with?”

It moves through a lot of the initial common questions many codependents have, explaining things such as why negative reward systems and feedback loops keep us stuck in unhealthy patterns even though we want to get better.

John Raven is a practicing professional counselor, drawing from personal and professional experience to craft this quick, easy and insightful read.

CODEPENDENCY 101: BASICS OF ADDICTION, GRIEF AND RECOVERY by Jennifer S. Walker

Codependency 101 is a quick and easy read (72 pages) with 4 sections: 1) What Is Codependency, 2) The Relationship Between Codependency & Addiction, 3) Understanding The Grief Process, and 4) The Codependency Recovery Process.

The book is interlaced with Jennifer’s personal stories of codependency during and after a 5-year relationship with an abusive, drug-addicted man.

THE DIALECTICAL BEHAVIOR THERAPY SKILLS WORKBOOK: PRACTICAL DBT EXERCISES FOR LEARNING MINDFULNESS, INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS, EMOTION REGULATION & DISTRESS TOLERANCE by Matthew McKay, PhD, Jeffrey C. Wood, PsyD & Jeffrey Brantley, MD

Based on Marsha Linehan’s Dialectical Behavior Therapy, a modified form a cognitive behavior originally develop to treat borderline personality disorder, this workbook guides readers through a series of useful exercises.

The exercises are fantastic for codependency recovery, and the book can be used in conjunction with by or in conjunction with a therapist or professional counselor.

Domestic Violence & Abuse

THE NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE: 1-800-799-7233

If you’re experiencing domestic violence, first get help and then learn how to get out.

This hotline has advocates available 24/7/365 to talk to you confidentially if you’re experiencing domestic violence, seeking information, or questioning your relationship.

THE ESSENTIAL BREAK FREE BOOTCAMP

If you want help leaving a toxic relationship, Kim Saeed’s Essential “Break Free” Bootcamp is the most comprehensive resource I’ve found anywhere.
It’s complete with the step-by-step actions you’ll need to take to break free (including several things you’ve never even thought about).
Aside from the actual tactics for leaving (and subsequent healing), perhaps the biggest value this bootcamp provides is direct access to Kim herself, along with a community of people in the same boat as you, supporting each other.

Therapists

FIND A THERAPIST – PSYCHOLOGY TODAY

Psychology Today has the most easily searchable index of therapists I’ve seen.

You can search by city, zip code, or therapist name and get instant results for therapists near you. The site also includes contact info for each therapist as well as issues they treat, and treatment styles.

If possible, try to find a therapist who specializes in codependency.

GROUP SUPPORT

CELEBRATE RECOVERY

Celebrate Recovery is a worldwide series of support groups that help people overcome hurts, hang-ups, and habits.

They have a group locator to help you find a group near you. While these meetings have been helpful for lots codependents, they don’t focus on codependency exclusively. You’ll meet and be support by people recovering from a variety of substance and behavioral addictions, as well as other types of issues.

This is a Christian organization, and the program is based on biblical principles.

CO-DEPENDENTS ANONYMOUS (“CODA”)

Based on working the Twelve Steps, CODA is a network of localized support groups that exist in many city, towns, and countries across the world.

For those who can’t make it, or don’t have access to a group in their town, CODA offers phone and online meetings as well.

CODA is a good way to connect with others near you who personally understand codependency.

AL-ANON

Al-Anon is a support organization specifically created for the families members of people with addiction problems.

If you have a spouse, parent, child, family member or close friend with an addiction problem, Al-Anon may be a good place for you to find help and support.

Addictions can be devastating to families, and Al-Anon was very useful for my family for a period of several years. It taught us that 1) we weren’t crazy for caring so much, and 2) how to deal with the addict. Along the way, we were supported by people who understand exactly what we were going through.

Courses

BUILD BETTER BOUNDARIES: LEARN TO BE KIND WITHOUT BEING CODEPENDENT

This self-paced course was created in-house by Brian and a small group of therapist and recovering codependents.

It’s a 6-step framework for codependency recovery, including 3 hours of video lessons and downloadable worksheets to help students work through the material.

Along the way, students learn about what codependency is and how it started in their life, study their family of origin, learn about codependency schemas, triggers and reframing their responses, setting and enforcing healthy boundaries, and building a supportive network of connections as they move forward to a healthier life.

VIPPASANA MEDITATION

Vippasana meditation is a technique which enhances awareness and equanimity by using body sensation as a point of focus, keeping in mind the law of impermanence. It promotes focus, self-awareness, and emotion regulation.

Students are required to start with a 10-day, in-person course at a Vipassana center (which may be found throughout the world).

These courses are completely free (donation only), but can be extremely intense for some as they almost inevitably result in deep reflection on one’s own life and confrontation with emotions. They are highly rewarding for many students.

4 Comments
  1. Hey, just returning your email.
    I found the book ‘Boundaries’ good and ‘As a man thinkth’ good.
    I am finding the process of moving out into my own 1 bedroom flat a game changer.

    Kind regards
    Caede Vidigal

    God bless you, keep up the good work

  2. I would recommend Natalie Liu, ‘Mr Unavailable and the fallback girl’
    Which I read over and over, helped me to get over my NPD partner who I left three years ago, it has been tough…..

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