Codependency recovery and treatment is based very much on an individual level as the circumstances for the condition will vary from person to person. If you suffer from codependency issues then be aware that breaking the cycle of codependency is not an overnight fix and in fact, treatment can take some time before new behaviors are formed and the assistance of a trained professional should always be sought so that you can achieve specialized support throughout. Fortunately there is an official support group called Codependent Anonymous which has been set up solely to help sufferers back on the road to emotional recovery.
Codependency is really an umbrella term as there are variables of behavior associated with this condition. Because codependency affects your relationships in a detrimental way, steps for recovery should always be used to identify the source of the issues, and the source will usually stem from your childhood. Children tend to learn behaviors from those closest to them and without any means of comparison, the behaviors that are learned are not necessarily correct. To stop being codependent, you need to fully understand why you are the way you are, what went wrong in your life to make you feel this way, and to also realize that it is not your fault.
The biggest and most important step of codependency recovery and treatment is the acknowledgment that you have a problem. Irrational behaviors may make you feel guilty or ashamed but deep down; those behaviors will be having a far more detrimental impact, because the behaviors hide low self esteem and a sense of worthlessness from those around you. Overcoming dependency rests upon your resolution to rid yourself of the shackles of this disorder, addiction therapy is exceptionally beneficial as will be talking to others who have experienced the same deeply rooted feelings of insecurities and self loathing that can go hand in hand with your condition.
Understanding why you are drawn to unhealthy relationships is paramount and learning that even if you feel in control of the relationship, this does not stop the relationship from damaging you further. Walking away from your partner if the situation has become intolerable is one option, but remember that being alone will not instantly cure you of the behaviors that may have plagued you for many years. Take time to read up on codependency issues and discover what you are really dealing with so that you can help you to help yourself. There are many good books available on this subject including: Codependent No More by Melody Beattie and this will give you an important insight into the condition itself. Codependent Anonymous groups can offer much support and simply require that those who attend have a willingness to change and to be able to work at having a healthy relationship.
Of course, to be able to make these significant changes, it can be useful to think back to your childhood and to try to ascertain the triggers yourself. Did you feel loved and safe for example? If your parents were emotionally unavailable to you at a tender age, it makes sense that you would look for a familiar alternative, thus creating this unhealthy behavioral loop of love, need, abandonment and emotional pain. It is perfectly ok to feel angry if you did not have the most secure and loving childhood and it certainly was not your fault. The scars that were forged during your childhood may heal externally but continue to be raw and significant underneath unless you deal with the situation head on in later years. Codependent Anonymous offer the opportunity to share your experiences with others and this is an often a beneficial release in a supportive environment but it is not a requirement to do so. To find the nearest CoDa meeting to you, check out http://www.coda.org.
As a codependent, you may have immersed yourself within the dream of having a perfect relationship and have been willing to invest extra time and hope within a relationship even if deep down you knew that the person was not right for you. It’s common for codependents to fall for someone who is also emotionally scarred in the hopes that this will suddenly change, and this is yet another reason why Codependent Anonymous can help you overcome your fears of securing a deep and loving relationship going forward. Codependency recovery and treatment is available if you really wish to move away from negative and harmful emotional connections and it works, so overcome any initial reservations and learn to embrace your first healthy and loving relationship. You may also find information on recovery and Self Improvement from SelfGrowth.com